I teach as part of my consulting business. I travel all over--but mostly in the southwest border states--to teach mostly police officers about Mexico's drug war and border security issues. Many of these cops are very familiar with the drug business at the tactical level, but aren't aware of the broader issues involved in how those drugs got from Mexico into their neighborhoods. I love teaching these classes because (a) I get to travel and meet new people, and (b) it's one of my biggest professional challenges. Have you ever tried to teach a room full of cops? It's a tough crowd; I know because I used to be a law enforcement officer, so I know how they think. There's a lot of peer pressure to appear to know almost everything, and it can be perceived as a sign of weakness to ask a question; it means you actually don't already know everything the instructor is putting forth.
Sometimes I get a few laughs at my jokes, and sometimes I get crickets. I'll usually get very few signs regarding my performance until after I'm done, when inevitably I get a group of students wanting to ask me questions in private or tell me how much they loved the class. It makes for a long day for me. I usually don't sleep well the night before a class, which activates my MS symptoms and already starts my day off with an unhappy body. Even though I get to sit for the whole class, I have to mentally focus on my material for a full eight hours and try to be as enthusiastic and engaging as possible with slides I've lectured on dozens of times before. Again, it's one of my biggest challenges, but I absolutely love doing it.
What many people don't know is that I also have the privilege of teaching my children. Our older son is in private school now, but when he was about 3 ½ years old, I started homeschooling him at the pre-school--and later the pre-K--level. At the time, my husband and I were considering homeschooling both our kids for their elementary years, and I wanted to start with the basics as soon as I felt they were ready. I have never been more intimidated to teach anyone in my life! I know that sounds crazy; I have a master's degree and graduated with honors from both college and graduate school. I teach cops for a living, for goodness sakes! And here I am, afraid of screwing up in the process of teaching a 3 year-old his letters and numbers. Yet, it happens to thousands--if not tens or hundreds of thousands--of women every year who embark on homeschooling their kids.
But you know what? It all worked out, and it ended up being one of the biggest joys of my life. Partly because my older son responded so well, and because it was such a fun bonding experience for the two of us for those three hours a week we did school at home. However, it was also partly due to the fact that it was something I was easily physically able to do with my son. My husband gets all the credit for the fun physical stuff: playing in the pool, riding 4-wheelers outside in the desert scrub, wrestling on the living room floor...you get the picture. Here was something that not only I could do by myself with our son, but something he enjoyed and something I was actually pretty good at.
Today I'm thinking of these things because I'm starting the process all over again with our younger son. We ended up sending our older son to private school because my MS has progressed considerably since we originally considered me fully homeschooling him, and the school he attends can teach him much more effectively than I can. But I gave him a great foundation for loving books, math, science, and just learning in general. He was reading at almost a first-grade level before he first stepped foot in a classroom, and for that I unabashedly take full credit. Our younger son is a different cat altogether. He and his brother have a lot in common, but their personalities are fundamentally different. While he's a very smart cookie in his own right, I find myself feeling those old insecurities and fears: will he like school with Mommy? Will he pick up the concepts easily, or will he struggle? Will he look forward to school time, or will he get bored and fight me on it?
I guess these questions are only a little different than the ones I ask myself before a work-related class. I know not every student is going to love me, but I still inherently want them to be there and have at least some interest in what I'm teaching. But the fact remains that I am incredibly grateful that I have the physically ability to just teach. Whether I'm sitting in a chair or on a stool in a classroom, or a little kiddie seat next to my son's Disney Cars desk in his room, I rejoice in my ability to share my knowledge with others. I still don't know if cops or toddlers are my toughest audience, but I will always work hard to bring them around.
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