Tuesday, September 9, 2014

When "Supermom" Crashes and Burns

Supermom officially crashed today. I was in the middle of heating up some pancakes for our kids' breakfast and I just started sobbing. Our two boys had only been awake for half an hour, but they were already fighting, yelling, hitting each other, crying, and being disobedient. My poor husband is trying to get ready for work while dealing with their chaos, and I'm trying to keep it together while making snacks and lunch out of the few lunch-worthy ingredients we had available in the pantry. I woke up with a slightly scratchy throat, and I can't tell if I'm getting my second cold in two weeks, or if it's just from sleeping on my back for too long.

Then it just became a downhill slide, and everything I have going on in my life piled up in a split second. It looks a little something like this:

- My new business has a lot of money going out, but no money will be coming in for some time.
- I have several continuing writing commitments for my consulting business.
- I have to find a hotel for the Texas Book Festival in late October near the Capitol, and all the rooms under $300 a night are taken.
- I have to bleed more money to attend a conference in November in Florida.
- My kids start soccer practice this week--on alternate days at two different locations.
- I have a 75-minute presentation to create from scratch by next week.
- I can't help my 6 year-old with his Common Core math homework because there are some problems where I don't understand what they're asking--and I took calculus in college.
- I have to interview backup babysitters this week.
- One of my son's Tiger Cub Scout socks is missing.
- Did I mention I have multiple sclerosis while all this is going on?

Honestly, the MS is just incidental at this point. And I'm luckier than a lot of people to have two great kids, an amazing husband, and exciting career. Hell, I was in New York City last week to tape an interview for the Stossel Show on FOX Business, and was being shuttled around town with my best friend in an executive sedan; that's nothing to cry about. But there are just some moments in time where everything crashes together in the space of one second while you're microwaving pancakes, and it just gets to be too much.

So what do I do? My sweet husband suggested I take time after the grocery delivery this afternoon to go get a pedicure or massage to have some "me" time. Sadly, I don't even have time for that, but just the thought of it is pretty nice. As much as I would love to just sit and do nothing, or even curl up on the couch and feel sorry for myself, that's just not my style. I will allow myself one day to be weepy, and sad, and stressed, and overwhelmed. Then life will take over, my routine will set in, and I'll move on. I'll go to sleep tonight, and tomorrow will be a different day. All the issues I have to deal with will still be there, but my mental state will be refreshed, and I'll remember to take on only one challenge at at a time instead of thinking I have to conquer the whole world at once.