The Parity of Parties: A Book Launch vs. A Kid's Birthday

I'm writing this as our family fun-filled weekend comes to a close. Our older son turned six years old on Saturday, and the party was great (thank God). We chose to host it at the Tucson Children's Museum, and everyone (I think) had a really great time. But as I do after every single birthday party we host for our kids, I breathed a huge sigh of relief after it was over. Why do we as parents do this?

My husband will be the first one to tell you I stress out WAY too much over even the smallest of events, and that's to be expected when you have a control freak for a wife. When I look back at all the little things I worried about that I really didn't need to worry about, I started thinking about some of the parallels between planning a simple birthday party for a child and what seems like a more complex party for the release of my new book (which is next month).

I should preface this comparison with an explanation that I'm one of those people who has high social needs. You know those personality tests you can take that have all those weird letter combinations that try to encapsulate who you are? I'm not just a big S; I'm an S painted on the side of the Good Year blimp. I want everyone to like me, I hate it when people are mad at me, and I want lots of people to show up and have not just a good time, but an aMAZing time at any party I host.

Unfortunately for my son, who could have a blast in an empty room with two friends and three balloons, I tend to transfer those needs to my kids. Will the parents talk to each other, or just spend the two hours buried in their phones? Will the kids get along and play, or will they destroy stuff or end up needing a trip to the ER? Will the cake taste good, and will there be enough for the kids AND the adults? Will I have time to be a good hostess and spend a decent amount of time talking to all the parents and thanking them for bringing their kids?

Now let's transfer all of that neurosis to the adult world. I've already gotten a bunch of RSVPs for the book launch party, which is a really good sign, considering the party is a month away. At least a few of those are VIPs I was hoping would attend, and I think there will be plenty more as we get closer and people get a better feel for their schedules. But I still have a LONG list of things I'm worrying about: will I have enough food for everyone? Will they like the food? Will people introduce themselves and talk to each other, or just stand around? Will I sell/sign enough books to make it worth the while of the bookseller at the party, or will they have a ton of books left over? Will they have enough or run out? And bring in the MS equation: will my body run out of steam and prevent me from getting around to everyone?

My husband is always the voice of calm and reason when I get like this, which is made that much harder by the fact he's deploying tomorrow morning for three months and won't be here for the party. It's actually the second book launch he's missed, as he was deployed to Afghanistan when Cartel launched in September 2011. Fortunately, my mom will be here to help me get through everything, and the party is being held in a hotel lounge ==> bar. My husband tries constantly to remind me that, both physically and mentally, I can only do so much. I pay a heavy price when I overdo things physically, and too much stress from overdoing things mentally can also have a very negative impact on my body.

So at this point, I'm working on just doing what I can, and being okay with saying "I've done all that I can." All the invitations have gone out, I'm working with my publicist to get the word out and line up some media interviews right before the party, and I'm keeping the buzz going through mentions at Metro Chamber and Hispanic Chamber social events. It'll be a great party, I'll sell books, I'll have a great time...and I'll be relieved when it's over (insert smiley face here).