Whining in a Wheelchair Literally Gets You Nowhere

Normally when I read blog posts or news stories about disabled individuals who have somehow made headlines, they're inspiring or uplifting in nature. But every so often, I read a story that really pisses me off. I mean...REALLY. I'll elaborate.

I'm pretty proud of my independence, and granted, not everyone in a wheelchair has the same physical capabilities I still have to move around, travel, and get things done. But one thing I definitely don't have is a sense of entitlement attached to my MS or accompanying disability. Keep that in mind as I tell you this story.

Model Chelsea Jay

Chelsea Jay is a gorgeous 24 year-old fashion model who lives in the United Kingdom (UK). Recently she was asked to speak on a panel at The Clothes Show, an annual consumer exhibition that was taking place in Birmingham, England. The panel was about diversity in fashion, where she was planning on advocating for the inclusion of more disabled models in the fashion business. Ok...good deal. For the record, she uses a wheelchair because she has a rare condition called POTS where she passes out if she tries to stand up.

The platform at The Clothes Show

From her statement, her Twitter posts, and a post on The Mighty website about the panel, here's what I gather happened. Chelsea showed up to the panel, which was scheduled for 3:15pm, at 3:15pm. The panel had started early without her (ostensibly at 3:05pm). She noticed right away that no ramp had been set up to get her on the stage/platform, which was 15 inches off the ground. Seeing all this, apparently all she did was leave and tweet that she was "humiliated" by the experience.

“The fact that I was there to talk about disability inclusion in fashion, at a fashion event that excluded me, is laughable, but is not a joke,” Jay said in a statement. “It’s real life and it’s reality to so many disabled people every single day… Sadly, the Clothes Show has just perfectly highlighted the struggles I have had for the three years I’ve been campaigning for this.”

The Clothes Show responded to the incident in a statement (provided to The Mighty) that explained the lack of ramp was due to "genuine human error" and it could not be provided on time. They also said they had tried multiple times to contact Chelsea directly to apologize, but she had not responded. They then took to social media to apologize to her. Click HERE to read the full story on The Mighty just in case I'm leaving anything out.

I'm #sorrynotsorry, but I have to call some serious shenanigans here. To caveat, I understand this happened in the UK and not the US, so some of my comments may or may not be relevant or actionable--but I'm going to make them anyway. First, I'm a professional public speaker, and never in a million years would I show up to a panel at a conference right when it's about to start. Conference organizers ALWAYS want you there at least 30-45 minutes before the start to go over logistics (DUH) and know that everyone is where they're supposed to be. I'm not saying starting ten minutes early when one of your speakers is absent is OK, but she should have arrived earlier if that was possible. A LOT of things might have been prevented or resolved.

Second, hotels and conference centers can't always guarantee that a ramp is going to be there for disabled speakers when they need it. They try, but it doesn't always happen. This is why, as a disabled speaker who is not "the norm," you always have to have a back-up plan, or be prepared to adapt and overcome! So the ramp wasn't there. Big deal! Chelsea just snuck out in silence, tweeting that she was humiliated and blaming The Clothes Show for representing all that was wrong with discrimination against the disabled. Seriously?!?

I say that Ms. Jay is everything that's wrong with people--NOT just those in wheelchairs--who don't speak up and work to find a solution instead of just slipping away and becoming a victim. Why didn't she find someone in charge as soon as she arrived? Why didn't she ask if she could just speak from in front of the platform (which was NOT that high) instead of on it? Why didn't she ask if she could just be lifted by two helpful people onto and off the platform? (This may have been a legal liability issue in the UK, but you don't know unless you ask). I'll tell you, if I want people to hear my message, I WILL find a way to get it out there, ramp or no ramp. And I have no doubt in my mind that the conference organizers would have bent over backwards to help her find a solution.

Another thing that really bothers me is the fact she rebuffed all attempts by The Clothing Show to contact her and apologize. They were earnest enough to take to social media to do it, for goodness sakes! If you feel wronged or slighted or discriminated against (even when you're really not), at least give the alleged offender the opportunity to make things right.

Look...here in the US, those of us in mobility devices have it easy compared to other countries, thanks to the Americans with Disabilities Act. There are very few places I can't get into, and those are usually places that are historic, or just older than the ADA requirements for buildings that need to be retrofitted. But the ADA doesn't grant me the right to be indignant or humiliated when the logistical chips don't fall my way for circumstances out of anyone's control. Ms. Jay needs to save her indignant righteousness for a situation where she really is being discriminated against, or else she risks ALL of us being looked at like entitled whiners who just happen to be in wheelchairs (instead of just 20-something Millennials). This incident posed a minor problem that had multiple solutions, and while I admire Chelsea's advocacy efforts, she's going to need thicker skin and more than an ounce of resolve to get her through the challenges that will face her in the UK in the years to come.

I also don't like that her response to the lack of a ramp was so passive-aggressive in nature. What is she teaching other people about those of us in mobility devices? That we're slaves to every inconvenience the logistical gods place in front of us? Sometimes we are, but usually we're not. That we're weak and helpless, and can't get things done through leadership and politeness? That we have no problem being advocates for others, but can't advocate for ourselves? No way. Those of you who know me know I have zero expectations of people or places when it comes to accommodating me because I am not "the norm." That is a reality that I embrace. So when people DO reach out to help me--as I'm sure they would have done with Chelsea--it makes me happy to accept. With a gracious smile, of course :).