Monday, November 2, 2015

A New Home, A New Life, and New Adventures

It's been nine months since I last posted on this blog, and that's been way too long. But there are several good reasons for that; there have been many difficult parts of 2015 since then. I got divorced in July, and about the same time moved clear across the country from Arizona to live near my family in central Florida. My boys spend most of the year living with their dad in another state, although I'm blessed to live within driving distance and I see them whenever I like. Despite all the really hard stuff that goes along with divorce, I'm in a good place with my ex and our children are happy and thriving.


Family portraits by the Wekiva River
I would venture to say that most women who find themselves on their own after ten years of having a partner are afraid of the unknown to some extent. But I would say that fear is magnified at least a hundred times when you live with a chronic disability like MS and all the unknowns that go along with it. I did a lot of things by myself and for myself while I was married, but there was a lot of comfort knowing I could call my then-husband if I needed help or found myself in a jam. Living near most of my family was a natural choice after the divorce, but I knew I wanted to--and had to for my sanity and strong sense of independence--live by myself.

Would I make it?? My anxiety went into high gear and I started thinking about all the worst-case scenarios. What if I fell in the shower? What if my power chair died in the middle of the garage and I had no way to get back in the house? And on and on.



Friends & family at my housewarming
Fortunately, all those fears (so far) have been unfounded. My sister-in-law found an amazing one-story townhouse for me to rent, and the modifications I've had to make have been minimal. Since I was never able to cook for our family in Arizona while I was married (I can't be on my feet for more than a few seconds at a time), I was worried I'd have to live off microwave meals or pizza delivery. It turns out that between my mom's donated George Foreman grill, steam-bag veggies, my rice cooker, and a very light skillet, I can feed myself healthy meals...while still accepting generous homemade meal donations from my neighbors across the street and Cuban takeout from my parents :). Between my awesome family and said incredible neighbors, I have an amazing home with comfortable furniture, photos and paintings on the wall, and glasses and plates in the cupboards. I have two workbenches for my jewelry making and my consulting business is running like a well-oil machine.
My interview for Fox & Friends in September

Speaking of which, it's been a strange adjustment being able to work at all hours. I find I work better at night (I'm typing this at 10:45pm and I'm wide awake) with ridiculously loud classic rock playing in the "background" after decades of waking up ridiculously early for school or work. I'm writing more than I ever have before, and I already have several live TV interviews under my belt since I moved to Florida.


Another thing that I still can't wrap my head around is my new ability to travel...and not just for work. In the past couple of months, I've been able to spend time with both of my best friends--one in North Carolina and the other during a work trip to DC--which is precious time I always treasure. I garnered a new writing job out of that trip, and now I'm the newest contributor to American Military University's InHomeland Security blog. I also gave a presentation on border security in Texas that allowed me the privilege of meeting retired 4-star General Barry McCaffrey. And I was able to knock another item off my bucket list when I visited the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC in late September.

Some new adventures don't even require leaving your home state. I'm 41 years old, and despite having been born and raised in Florida--and lived over half my life here--I had never been on an airboat ride. Until last month, ha ha! Thanks to a little bit of physical help and a very accommodating airboat captain, I got to experience one of the most incredible hours of my life. Just when you thought you knew every square inch of your home state, you get out on water that looks like glass and glide along at 30 knots while watching cranes and egrets take flight above the swaying grasses. If you've never done it and have the opportunity, do it!!!

Despite all these new and exciting experiences, it's not all fun and games. I get to Facetime with my boys pretty much every day, but it's not the same as being with them. I miss them terribly, although I know they're in great hands with their dad and doing amazing things at a school they love attending while making great friends. The electric lift on my car hitch for my power chair started tearing my car frame, so I had to remove it. Now I'm back to lugging my scooter parts in and out of my trunk when I leave the house, which is not fun on hot and humid Florida days. But given everything that's happened so far this year, I'm incredibly lucky to not just be surviving, but succeeding. I'm surrounded by friends and family who love me and would help me at the drop of a hat. I can call my relatives for a spur-of-the-moment lunch, and enjoy large family dinners or gatherings almost every weekend. My businesses are thriving, and my health has been holding steady throughout all of this.


And there are more adventures to come very soon! My next post? Another item getting kicked off the bucket list in a couple of weeks as my electric scooter and I head to Sedona, Monument Valley, and Moab for some of the most amazing scenery this planet has to offer. So stay tuned!!

1 comment:

  1. Hi! You are very inspiring. I'm glad you got over your fear of leaving alone. Having MS must be hard, but at least you have people looking out for you. Thank you for serving this country. Maybe you can get a disability van that has a chair lift. I know lifting a the chair in and out the trunk is hard work.

    Tasha Reeves @ West Coast Mortgage Group

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